What does al anon do

The Al-Anon and Alateen literature focus on problems that are common to family members and friends of alcoholics such as excessive care-taking, an inability to differentiate between love and pity, support and enabling, and loyalty to abusers. Realistically, Al-Anon acknowledges that members may join with low self-esteem, mainly a side-effect of unrealistically overestimating their agency and control over their situation.

Al-Anon members are encouraged to keep the focus on themselves, rather than on the alcoholic. Alcoholism is a family disease. The disease affects all those who have a relationship with a problem drinker. Those closest to the alcoholic suffer the most, and those who care the most can easily get caught up in the behavior of the addicted person.

These loved ones may have an unhealthy focus on the addict, what they do, where they are, and how much they drink. Those closest to an alcoholic take on the blame, guilt, and shame that should really belong to the drinker.

Al-Anon focuses on detaching from these emotions and establishing healthy boundaries. Those closest to the addict can become as addicted to helping the alcoholic as the alcoholic is to alcohol.

Many Al-Anon members struggled for years with the difficult challenges of coping with alcoholism. It is often easier to think about continued difficulties than a positive solution. This is a main reason why it is easy to come up with so many reasons not to attend an Al-Anon meeting.

Many people have felt anxiety about attending their first meeting. Overcoming this reluctance is an opportunity for personal growth, the first of many that the Al-Anon program offers. It is the first step on the road to recovery for the Al-Anon attendee. Al-Anon is a resource that allows the loved ones of alcoholics to take control of what they can, which means simply taking care of themselves and preventing the negative effect of alcoholism from bringing them down.

Al-Anon is not a counseling agency, or a religious organization, or a treatment center. The group does not charge any dues or fees and is self-supported through member donations.

Members of Al-Anon attribute improved psychological health less depression, anger and a better relationship and family satisfaction to attending Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon meetings are held in a variety of locations, including local schools, churches, and hospitals.

Al-Anon meetings are held seven days a week, day and night. All meetings start at a specific time, and most last about an hour or so.

Some have no formal closing time. Attendees can come into a meeting or leave anytime they choose. Al-Anon meetings offer a safe place where people can come and talk about dealing with the effects of alcoholism on a friend or loved one.

Al-Anon places high importance on anonymity at their meetings to make their meetings a safe place to share. Participants only go by first names and keep personal information shared in the room anonymous. Al-Anon boasts a diverse membership with participants from many walks of life. Alateen is a fellowship designed for the younger relatives and friends of alcoholics through the teen years.

By attending Alateen, teenagers 13 to 18 can meet other teenagers in similar situations. Al-Anon has three sets of guiding principles called Three Legacies. These steps are adapted from the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Many newcomers to Al-Anon are comforted by hearing about situations and relationships similar to their own and developing new relationships with people they can talk about their situation. Al-Anon recommends that newcomers attend at least six meetings before deciding if the group is for them. Explore that topic. You may get mixed messages about anger in your household.

Are you told to control your anger but others in the family are allowed to explode violently? At Al-Anon, you learn that anger is a natural and normal emotion. Being angry is okay, it's what you do with the anger that makes a difference. The Al-Anon meeting opening statement says, "So much depends on our own attitudes, and as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives.

The principles you learn in Al-Anon Family Groups can help deal with changes as they come in life - sometimes major changes.

You may not be able to change the circumstances any, but you can change your attitude about the situation. You have choices. You have to accept the things you cannot change. You do not have to accept unacceptable behavior. You have the right to make decisions that are in your best interest—to decide not to be around alcoholic behavior and to walk away from fights and arguments.

And to decide to no longer participate in the insanity of others. Have you found the courage to make those kinds of decisions? Do you have control issues? If you step in and try to solve problems for others you rob them of the dignity of being able to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Are you learning to "let go and let God? Courage to change is not something that comes naturally to those who grew up in alcoholic homes.

You may have found yourself being comfortable in relationships that were not only not healthy but downright sick. In order for all that to change, you have to seek courage from an outside source. Are you able to deal with major crises but find yourself driven crazy by the small, everyday ones? Are you frustrated by the blatant denial of a loved one with an alcohol use disorder, who won't admit that their behavior is causing problems, damaging and destroying others? Have you learned that it isn't your job to convince that person they are in denial, turning that over to a power greater than yourself?

Learning how to detach can be difficult. When the person with an alcohol use disorder gets into a crisis, do you want to rush in and save the day? This can be the exact opposite of what you should do to get that person to the point of reaching out for help. Some of the things that you do to try to help the person with an alcoholic use disorder are the very things that are enabling that individual to continue in the dysfunctional behavior.

Are your expectations not reasonable at all when you are dealing with your loved one with an alcohol use disorder? You may be setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration until you learn to adjust your expectations closer to reality.

Emptiness is the loneliness that comes with living with and trying to love someone who was just not "there. Have you tried to fill that void with less than healthy things? You may have come to Al-Anon thinking the person with an alcohol use disorder was the only one who was exhibiting insane behavior.

But when you focus on yourself, you may realize that some of your behavior and thinking are also off-kilter. That's why they call alcoholism a family disease. Are you afraid or even terrified of being alone or abandoned?

Do you go to any lengths to hold on to a relationship, no matter how unhealthy or harmful because you are afraid of not ever being able to have another one? One of the 12 Traditions of Al-Anon states that we have no opinion on outside issues. Someone else's drinking or behavior is an outside issue. How do you keep the focus on your spiritual journey of recovery and not on anyone else's behavior? It seems to be one of those "spiritual truths" that before you can be forgiven, you must first forgive.